No More Undead Dreams in a Subconscious High
by turnindrin
Summary: Set after the events of the pending Avengers movie. Having been apprehend by Thor and taken home, Loki must answer for his crimes on Midgard.
1. Chapter 1

Synopsis: Set after the events of the pending Avengers movie. Having been apprehend by Thor and taken home, Loki must answer for his crimes on Midgard.

_No, Loki._

The words inside his head rang clear. Reverberate from the time of his fall. An insidious lopsided grin broke across his narrow mouth in a placid but hollow movement. He made sharp note of the courtiers who recoiled themselves but more importantly those that did not, the stoic Hogun, the perpetually indifferent Sif and of course Balder. Balder who had probably waited for this moment his entire life. Those who had loathed him from birth now afforded him no civility. For all he once was had expired. Loki straightened and reclaimed his neutral expression. It would do him no good to writhe like a creature possessed, being shackled before Odin, the All Father, while Balder, Sif and the Warriors Three looked down on him, was humiliating enough. It seemed appropriate to adopt a different tactic.

Thor continued to regale Odin in a low tone. Disbelief crushed his anger. Loki remained still, carefully marking the specific details that Thor deliberately did not include. _Dutiful Thor, how you cling to your misguided sense of honour and to be burdened by such a protective nature, you would shield a monster if he be your own. _Loki felt an emotional drop. When Thor brought the names of his mortal team, the Avengers to his lips, a strange rasp overtook his speech. A fierce blue glare shot the trickster deeper down into his emotional rut. _To have been considered your equal just once would have been enough. It would have been enough, brother. _Thor was breathing deeply. Having stated his piece, he bowed his head reverently and waited.

In turn Odin was slow to respond. All but one member of the assembly felt stifled by the sombreness. Loki pondered his next move absentmindedly. A regrettable force of habit.

Odin lifted his eyebrows. He addressed his son with an exasperated sigh. "Loki," More was spoken between them then either had intended. Loki milked his poisonous concoction of apprehension, disappointment and guilt. Odin withdrew his gaze, distraught with the image of his own child's vulnerability. "Loki," He repeated himself more softly. "Have you any explanation for your… mischief?"

Mischief was an odd word to use. Loki slipped back into his analytical thoughts. There had been malice in his deeds, could Odin not see it? Did he not think Loki capable of having a serious intention? Did he look the other way because he thought so little of Loki? Try as he might, Loki could not rein in his sudden revulsion and so settled himself to his own brand of satisfaction. Toying with a verbal knife.

"I fell through a wormhole and went mad," Loki smirked.

"This is no joke!" Odin did not quite boom but there was no mistaking the anger in his voice.

"Quite right, I went mad prior to falling into a wormhole," His amusement was unsurpassed. _I can always find solace in myself. Perhaps I'm of no use to anyone but myself... _

Odin seemed stunned, his stern expression dropped abruptly. As anticipated. The trickster felt pleased with himself. After all it was Odin who had allowed the rejected runt of a mongrel race to enter his household, his beloved family and to some extent his old heart. It was Odin who had enabled the Frost Giant spawn to have a legitimate claim to the throne of Asgard. It was Odin who had lied. Loki curled his lips. _How you must regret your decision, that fateful day! How you must despise the sight of me! _He began pacing mentally, certain that his doom had been sealed.

For a creature so pragmatic, to be taken by surprise was never a pleasant experience.

The All Father had observed his adopted son repeatability fail from an early age. As a small, fragile child, Loki was neither strong enough nor brave enough to match his much-loved elder son. Asgard favoured Thor as their Prince and their future King. It had never been a secret. It had never been a contest. Loki never stood a chance.

Then Asgard had never been privy to the family behind closed doors. Thor may have been easier to relate to, he was a chip of the old block in more ways then one, but little Loki was something of an enigma. Unusually bright and perceptive, the child possessed a natural talent for manipulating situations to suit his advantage. Odin maintained that Loki was brilliant rather then an inherit Jotuun trait. It pleased him further that Loki lacked his brother's vices, the foolhardiness, the arrogance, the impatience. If Loki had other personal demons, they went unnoticed. Odin seemed content that Loki had the makings of a fine second-in-command, but had never entertained the thought that he was more suited to be King.

In my vanity I desired that only my blood should inherit the crown. Odin slowly realised.

"I never understood you, Loki." The All Father spoke in a tight voice. "That is my failing as your Father. And not my first, I gave you false ambition and dangled you over a future I had no intention of letting you have. I never expected the truth to be of comfort to you, but I never thought it cause to become so volatile. Make no mistake. I know precisely what you are trying to do." Odin's face sharpened. "Do not go down this path, my son. You will not like where it leads."

The candour of the All Father seemed to unsettle Loki the most, who began shifting uncomfortably on his knees.

Continuing his temperate pace, Odin turned his thoughts to reconciliation. "There is no action that you could take that would diminish my love for you. Nor words that would ever make me consider you less then my son. Now is the time for amends and to put the unhappiness behind us. What was lost can always be salvaged." He smiled gently on Loki. "I swear to you from this moment until Ragnarok, I shall not mislead you again."

A peculiar feeling seeped into Loki's stomach. It was nausea. "You think your words mean anything to me now?" He snarled. "I am not your son! That was a lie! Everything you ever told me was a lie! And you would ask me to go back? Why? So that you might feel justified? That you might have peace of mind? Why should either be concern of mine?"

Unable to hide his irritation, Odin clasped his head. The old King was started to feel exhausted. It was then that Thor took leave of all formality.

"What does Loki mean, Father?" A dark scowl had been embedded into his large brow. Odin levelled his gaze to include his two sons. Loki bolted upright. The truth had just dawned on the trickster. It was all too delightful.

"He doesn't know? You didn't tell him!" The coarse accusation shrieked across the hall. Loki flung back his dark head and wrenched a cold laughter from his throat. Surely this would prove his undoing! "Come, come Father! Don't be bashful! Did you just not promise no more deception?"

A bewildered Thor watched his younger brother carefully. In a grave voice the thunderer proceeded with the question once more.

"Do no press this matter." Odin commanded. "It will do more harm than good."

Loki put his grin away quickly. "Then again, the truth was never something our Father was never best acquainted with!"

"Hold your tongue!" Odin barked.

"How quickly you abandon the façade of a loving Father when it suits you! Tell me what harm does the truth pose? If it does not offend you or Mother, then why should it matter to my dear brother or to the rest of Asgard? Unless that is another one of your many lies! How convincing! Is this how you propose we begin our relationship anew? Then nothing has changed! Perhaps because it can't, because there is nothing between us except lies!"

Thrilled to have dominion over the entire room, Loki struggled with a fit of giggles. Of course there was no going back. There had been a chance of that. _For better or for worse, I will never walk in Thor's shadow again!_

"I am not Odin's son. I was never Odin's son! I was never anything but the abandoned son of Laufey. The rejected Frost Giant runt, left for dead, only to be stolen by Odin in a moment of weakness. Or perhaps it was opportunity. You did intent to cast me out when it favoured the realm, didn't you Father? I was just a means to an end!" Loki grimaced. "Doesn't it all make sense now, Thor? We're not related by species let alone blood! I am just a stolen relic! A war trophy! A…"

"Hush, brother…"

Loki raised his head sinuously. Interruptions annoyed him, especially during a rant. He hunched his shoulders and raised an eyebrow. "Something displeases you?"

"It changes nothing, brother." Thor said flatly.

"It changes everything, you sap!" His pale features contorted with a roar. _It had to. _

_Didn't it?_

_Didn't it? _

It was done, over in an instance. And his son cared not. Odin shook his head. Prince of Asgard, son of the All Father, brother to the Mighty Thor, titles alone could not protect Loki now. With a firm hand, Odin motioned to the guards. Wide eyed and sprawling, the trickster was hoisted to his feet. He flashed his sharp teeth venomously. "I may be the Prince of lies, but Odin is the Father of lies!"

"Govern your tongue, Loki," Thor opened his mouth in frustration. Reluctantly Loki seemed to recline into his captors grip, unwilling or uncaring to protest further. He was shortly removed from sight.

The silence took their breaths as it had never done before. As the uproar shrank from range, troubled eyes fastened on the All Father, for guidance or vindication. Undoubtedly moods were mixed. Some were better at masking their emotions then others. Volstagg's pale eyes bulged. He exchanged nervous glances with Fandral whose mouth hung low and wordless. Sif was fixated on Thor, attempting to read him. Balder was incensed, the broad warrior now realised his hand tightly clasped the handle of his blade.

"What was stated here will not become public knowledge," Odin turned to cautiously survey those assembled. "If it does, the perpetrator or perpetrators shall be publicly executed." He stiffened and rubbed his temples. "I will not have Loki cast out, not by anyone. Not while I live."

Thor gritted his teeth. Bowing with his hand covering his heart, he left the hall alone. Shadowed by Balder and Sif.


	2. Chapter 2

**First of all, thank you to all the reviews. I appreciate each and every one :) **

**Secondly, in answer to a common question, yes there will be more chapters (obviously) but only approximately five according to initial planning. **

**Apologises for the lateness of chapter two, but please enjoy twice the length :)**

Chapter Two

Loki met the icy glare of his own reflection. Examining his exterior for the first time in a long while was oddly daunting. Spindly fingers touched the droughty ends of his black hair, longer and more unkempt then he remembered. Nor did he recall the thick shadows pressed up against his emerald eyes, or they so wide and vivid. He pursed his narrow lips and felt his pale skin pinch his sharp angles. Idly Loki pulled a face. There was something ghoulish about his appearance. He splashed cold water over himself but found that it would not wash away. In boredom the trickster moved to the main drawing room of his compartments.

Raised an Asgardian Prince, Loki had always been accustomed to luxury. A spacious bedroom with an adjacent bathroom, a lavish sitting suite with fireplace and a small private room converted into a study complete with connecting stairwell to the great library were all part of the royal package. As a child Loki had shared a cosy chamber with his elder brother. Then Thor had turned fourteen and demanded private quarters, quick to reprimand his younger sibling that in accordance to the laws of Asgard, he was now a man and men required their own living space. Thor flashed a smug smirk. "You'll understand one day, Loki. In a couple of years you'll feel exactly the same."

Of course Loki did not feel the same in time. The tenuous pangs of isolation, exclusion and loneliness from early childhood only grew as Loki was made all too aware of the many differences between him and Thor. It was apparent that Asgard favoured Thor. Loki was tolerated out of courtesy.

_He pulled away from me, discarded me… And Asgard loved him for it! _

Perched on the edge of his seat, Loki instinctively bit his nail. His current situation bothered him more then he cared to admit. At the least he had expected to be striped of his privileges, at the most, thrown in the dungeons. Instead Odin was treating him like a naughty child, banishing him to his chambers. Loki grunted in annoyance. Not that the trickster was particularly interested in sampling the comforts of an Asgardian cell. It was the feeling of being coddled that unnerved him.

In truth the All Father was at a loss. Loki had always possessed a mischievous streak, harmless, sometimes humorous but never malevolent, never requiring harsh discipline. Since their previous encounter Odin had a sinking feeling in his stomach. He did not know how to tame his youngest son. He did not know his youngest son. The most practical method seemed to be to keep Loki close and safe under his diligent surveillance, to allow Loki to rampage and to get it out of his system. Unfortunately confinement and boredom did not sit well with the God of Mischief.

Loki subdued a yawn. Depleted and aggravated did not bow well together either. Then sleep did not come as easily as it once had. He strolled towards the fireplace and placed his palms upon the smooth white surface. Sleep brought dreams and Loki now feared to dream. Feared he would be swallowed by the unprecedented weight of his subconscious. The docile son, the loyal brother, the rejected runt, the master of magic, the traitor, the monster, the madman, the villain, nothing more then costumes he darned and lies he spun. Alone, Loki wasn't sure who he was supposed to be. He wanted to laugh, weep and scream all at the same time.

_Is this what it feels like to have no true identity? To be nothing except what others make of you?_

Stiffness took his slender features. Drained of colour and emotion, Loki dropped his head into his hands. _Is it really my fate to be so ill-favoured? _

In the midst of his miserable low, the foyer doors flung open with an audible thud. Loki closed his eyes and swore in a harsh whisper. He was in no mood for company, least of all his belligerent brother. As the thunderer entered the apartment, no words passed between them.

Nimble fingers tapped the woodwork. "You've been in my room, haven't you?" Loki kept his voice expressionless. "Rummaging through my things, I shouldn't wonder."

Thor nodded smoothly. "Indeed brother. Many times I have visited your chambers in your absence. But only to sit and think, it helped me to find peace."

"You thought of me often then?" Loki slowly turned, casting a cold glance over his left shoulder.

Indecision crept over Thor, he ventured forward then paused, reluctant to approach further. "Of course, of course I did! I thought of you most days. As you once were, as _we_ once were!" Golden tresses tumbled as he shook his head. "Brother, once we were so close, as children we were inseparable! There is little that does not remind me of you. Of us. Of better times…"

Dim memories blinked at Loki. "Better times?" He repeated softly. "Did such times every truly exist?"

"You would deny that you were ever happy? Not even once?" Thor sounded genuinely concerned.

"Once was a lie," Loki chided callously.

Thor sighed loudly and looked away. His brother had an answer for everything. Then had he really expected anything less from the Master Liesmith? Thor lowered his arms and moved back into a defenceless posture. Loki had never lost a battle of wits; he was far too clever, far too quick and far too sharp tongued. His intellect was a rare gift among Asgardians, on more then one occasion Thor had secretly envied his little brother. It was frustrating nevertheless. Thor considered striking Loki with Mjolnir for good measure but that hadn't proven effective on Midgard.

"How is your head by the way?" Thor stroked his chin.

"Hmm," Loki feigned a toothy grin. "Disappointed your Neanderthal attempt to bash my skull in was unsuccessful?" He eyed Mjolnir apprehensively.

"It wasn't like that," Thor clenched his jaw. "I wasn't given much of a choice!"

"I don't recall much hesitation on your part!" A rough hiss pieced his lips.

"That's not fair," Thor muttered flatly.

"I know," The trickster chirped and apathetically shrugged. "Then when has fairness been a primary concern of yours? Do you even know what it means to be treated unjustly? To be resigned to a life of shadows through the actions of another? To be considered less then because of your linage? Everything has been handed to you on a silver platter since birth…" Loki drew himself closer, barely inches apart from his brother. His cold breath bated. "Tell me, have you ever wondered whether you truly deserved all that has been given?"

Thor snorted with laughter. Loki arched his back and snarled. "Naturally, you are after all a conceited beast!"

Knuckles tightened. "I may be a bad-tempered animal, Loki and I have no patience for your vicious verbal attacks." Thor developed a threatening stance and motioned with his finger. "I am the rightful heir to the throne of Asgard. This is more then my birthright, it is an honour that I have proven myself worthy of. I _will_ become King and for the sake of Asgard, if not your own, I would ask that you banish all thoughts that this will change, brother."

Loki narrowed his eyes. "And will you have me stand by your side or kneel by your feet?"

"Damn it Loki!" Thor reddened. He huffed for a while before moving aside, giving them both space to breathe. His manner then rationalized. Loki was obviously upset and not without good reason. Feeling protective of his little brother, Thor was furious with their Father. It was a cruel deception, necessary perhaps but cruel nevertheless. There would be strong words between them, Thor was certain. His insides knotted and his temples throbbed. Loki often had that effect. The thunderer drooped onto the outspread settee and leant forward, surprised to see Loki sweep candidly upon him.

"My head feels fine," Loki mused quietly. "If anything I relished the brief glimpse of unconsciousness."

Thor brushed hair from his eyes. With his brother physically within his reach, the opportunity was to tantalizing to resist. Thor reclined backwards, taking the unsuspecting Loki with him in one powerful tug. Loki gave no fuss and did not refuse the embrace. Instead he nuzzled against Thor's ample shoulder. Thor rested his chin lightly upon the trickster dark head and rocked him gingerly. The musty scent of old blood filled his nostrils. Thor then realised neither brother had changed their clothing since their last brawl. He paid no heed and rustled Loki's dishevelled hair. Lulled into a sense of wellbeing, a sheepish yawn was all the response the trickster could muster.

Hefty fingers traced his brother's slim body. "You're thin," Thor murmured. "Too thin, when did you last eat a proper meal?"

"A while ago," Loki admitted groggily.

Thor tossed his head and chuckled majestically. "Well then, don't fall asleep on me just yet. You must eat something first." Loki sluggishly protested as Thor roused and tenderly propped him upright. Leaving Loki to gush low grumbles, Thor meandered into the foyer and plucked a large, rosy apple from an undisturbed bowl of fruit. When he returned, Loki seemed a little more alert. He sat picking at his nails. Thor took the seat opposing him, produced a blade from his belt and proceeded to slice away the red skin. Just the way Loki liked them.

Loki leant back and observed his brother with a curious frown. It was not that long ago that he and Thor had been dead locked in bitter battle. And now here they were, behaving as if no strife had passed between them. Loki grounded his teeth. When Thor held out a large piece, he did not hesitate to accept. As their fingertips touched, Thor found a note of lightness to his face. Loki recoiled in detest.

"Why did you lie to Odin? About my… shall we say _mischief_?" Loki sucked on his bottom lip.

"I didn't lie," Thor stuck out his chin in a rather regal fashion. "I merely neglected a few minor details here and there." He titled his head. "I suspect Father already knows the truth anyway. He often does."

"Hmm," Loki pouted. "I expect so." He gobbled another slice.

"Want another apple?"

The trickster licked his nimble lips sweetly and declined. Thor met the haughty green gaze and spoke quietly. "There is something I've been meaning to ask you…"

Loki gave a heavy sigh, but did not halt the conversation.

"On Midgard, when we fought. You had the perfect opportunity… you could have…" He spoke with unusual chagrin. "I was at your mercy. You could have slain me, had it over and done with. I know you harbour me malice, brother and in that moment I confide that I thought I was to meet my end." He paused. "But you didn't. You couldn't or wouldn't. I don't pretend to know which, but now I'm asking you Loki. Why didn't you? _What_ stopped you?"

"Does it bother you that much?"

"Yes." The thunderer begrudgingly acknowledged. "I want to know. I want you to tell me."

"So long as it's the answer you're seeking for?" A wry smile twisted.

"Brother-"

"I am not your brother!" Loki retorted hoarsely. "Have you forgotten all that was said less then an hour ago? Or is your head so dense that reason cannot enter it? I am not your brother!" Loki abruptly jerked forward. Thor shoved him back down with one brisk thrust. "I am not anything but a monster!"

"At last, we are in agreement, trickster!" Balder announced, Sif at his heels.

Loki titled his chin upwards. He had not heard them arrive, his mind reeled instinctively. Never had so many Asgardians been in his chambers.

"You forget your place, Balder!" Thor bellowed unsavoury. On his feet, the thunderer towered. He bore his teeth and grunted. "_My_ brother is no monster! You _will_ remember that."

Balder inclined his head. His body went rigid as he stood motionless. A pained expression adorned his handsome features. Sif steadied herself against him, clasping his arm in protest. Balder carelessly tossed her aside. Loki sat dreamily in his seat. Gleaming eyes darted back and forth. Thor and Balder were cut from the same cloth, he noted sullenly. Both would pompously rush into a fight and neither was willing to back down. His mouth wore a terrible smile.

At length Balder seemed to let the matter drop. "Forgive me, my friend. I grieve any offence I have caused _your_ family." Subtly rarely passed the trickster, not that Balder had been subtle in any form. In disdain Loki rolled his eyes.

Thor smiled widely. "I acknowledge your sincerity, Balder. Nothing pains me more then to see my friends at odds with my brother."

_Buffoon_. Loki didn't know who he wanted to throttle more.

Balder beamed warmly. "If I may be so bold, perhaps we should adjourn for the evening? All of Asgard waits patiently to toast the triumph return of their Prince." He squared his shoulders and refused to acknowledge Loki while he spoke. "Your brother looks exhausted after his excursion, I'm sure he would prefer to be alone."

Sif dipped her head elegantly. The tall woman, nearly a match for Balder, regarded Loki with some sympathy. "Perhaps Balder is right, Thor."

Thor seemed dispirited with Sif's direction. Yet she held a sturdy power over him, one he couldn't refuse. He wavered, distraught with how badly the situation had been handled. How badly he had handled it. There was more still he wanted to say, but wasn't convinced Loki would hear his words. His brother appeared more content to widener the riff rather then resolve it. Thor groaned softly to himself. Perhaps talking wasn't the best solution, perhaps time and space would have been more beneficial. Precisely as the All Father had intended, Thor shuddered in sheer disbelief. He had acted with too much haste and accomplished nothing.

"I shall call upon you in a few days," A lingering squeeze. "Give you time to recover. You must try to get some rest. It will settle your mind." As Thor turned to leave, Balder imitated a courteous bow.

Loki wilted. Without thinking he cried out. "No, wait please. Stay a moment longer, brother," His mouth dried. "I won't be able to rest until we've spoken fully. I want you to understand. Really I do!" Even Loki could not comprehend himself. He sprang out like a child and seized hold of Thor's robust armour. "Please," He whimpered. "Please don't leave me."

In astonishment Thor questioned Loki with a look. Balder openly laughed, long and mockingly. Loki ignored the mortifying sound, burying his head deeper into his brothers back and continued to whimper shamelessly.

In one short movement, the thunderer had removed Loki and was gallantly returning him to his seat. "We will speak soon," Thor reassured him. "In the meantime I shall have the Lady Sigyn attend you."

Loki swallowed the lump in his throat and gave a defeated nod. He touched his wet cheek as Thor and the others took their leave.

Memories consumed his mind. A frail Loki peered out from over his thick book at the Mighty Thor and Balder the Brave raced around the eminent corridors with wooden swords, jabbing at one another with mock ferocity. To the introverted younger child, it seemed like such fun, and he desperately wanted to join in. Through Loki would never ask outright. He would have to be lead sheepishly by his mothers' gentle hand and remain snivelling behind her pale skirts while she addressed the other two boys. Thor could not refuse his mother, but the Queen never stayed to watch.

Balder would rock on his heels and made a face. "Loki can't be a knight like us. Knights are brave and he's too much of coward." Balder was the leader.

"Knights are strong either. Loki isn't very strong." Thor glanced at his puny brother.

"Knights don't hide behind their mummies," Balder never missed a moment to gloat. "Since you aren't suited to play with us, why don't you just run along and find some friends your own age."

"Or you could go to the library and read. You like books," Thor had meant it kindly. His face brightened a bit. "Run along, Loki. We'll play another time."

Loki immediately erupted into tears. Balder rolled his eyes. Embarrassed Thor took the smaller child and shook him vigorously. "Stop sobbing! Stop acting like a baby! We said you could play, didn't we? Cut it out already!"

But Loki couldn't or wouldn't. Not until the Queen emerged and wrapped her long elegant arms around him and hoisted her onto his hip. While Loki let out muffled cries into her silver hair, Frigga scolded her eldest son. "Loki is younger then you, he doesn't know any better. Thor, you're his big brother, it's only natural that he looks up to you. It won't always be this way, just humour him a little." The Queen gave a gentle laugh. "You know, you might miss the day your brother doesn't follow you around."

"No I won't!" Thor cried as he stomped away. "It's not fair! It's never fair Balder! It's just because I'm the elder!"

"Never mind Thor," Balder patted his friend on the back. "Loki knew what he was doing. He just wanted some attention. It's not your fault…"

Loki grimaced in remembrance. Thor had been right to some extent. Asgard reminded him of his childhood, but not _better_ times. His brows furrowed in concentration. Balder the Brave was such a nuisance. The pit of his stomach churned, Loki gritted his teeth and squinted. The thought of Thor and Balder hanging off each other in banquet hall, drunk on mead and merriment made the trickster feel ill. He stood and stretched. His lanky body ached but Loki denied it any comfort.

_I was wrong. Thor didn't pull away from me. He was pulled. _

Balder, the favoured Asgardian warrior had never made secret his detest for Loki, his rightful lord and master. He had always sought to drive himself in between the two brothers. Perhaps he knew the truth all along. Perhaps he was a spy for Odin. Perhaps he was just a simple, misguided fool. Loki cared not and ascribed him blame all the same.

_Balder who fancies himself more Thor's kin then I! Who favours himself as good as Odin's second son! _

Loki looked thoughtful for a moment, his green eyes shone merrily. Since blood no longer bonds us, I expect Balder really does believe himself more Thor's brother then I. He grinned from ear to ear.

_Oh my dear, Balder. What ever shall we do with you?_

He placed one finger to his lips and ripped the clean nail off.


	3. Chapter 3

**I just wanted to clarify my position on the subject of Balder. In my universe, Balder is the half-brother of Thor (he just doesn't know it yet) – more great parenting Odin. I thought it would be interesting to have Loki hint at the similarities between Thor and Balder, I'm currently toying with this idea, but I doubt I will go all the way. I imagine movieverse Loki wouldn't react well to discovering another brother, especially Balder. But no more spoilers :) **

**Short but sweet this time, bit of a filler chapter while I comply with real life commitments. Please enjoy and review. **

Chapter Three

For a moment Loki existed in two places.

He lay limp on his back, white linen sheets hung loose against his bare chest. Heaving deeply, his body gave no other symptom of slumber. Loki was as the dead. His mind wandered elsewhere.

The hallway was still, the servants scattered as the congregation in the banquet hall boomed. In the dimming light a shade was able to pass unnoticed with ease. Loki paused. At the entrance to the festivities, large banners were draped from cross stands, gently swaying with the evening breeze. The grand chamber glistened in red and gold, the colours of war, power and victory.

_The colours of Thor._ Just a hint of detest.

Green represented envy and inexperience. Yellow stood for cowardliness.

_Mockery. _The trickster quietly fumed.

Amongst those feasting, Thor cut a vociferous figure, chugging tankards of mead enthusiastically while a procession of beautiful maidens doted upon him adoringly. Thor offered them little regard and none more so then the other. To his immediate right, the refined Lady Sif challenged the inebriated Volstagg to an arm wrestle and won. Fandral laughed richly at their boisterous game and slapped Volstagg on the back in commiseration. The plumper God merely smiled into his goblet. Balder could be seen grinning over his companion, a young voluptuous female, cradled in his lap. She had merry eyes and a mane of reddish hair and when she spoke her musical voice floated effortlessly.

_Lorelei._

Loki's expression darkened. He remained by the antechamber with his brow cautiously lifted. Lorelei possessed neither the skill nor the tenacity to sense his attendance, her elder sister, on the other hand was a different matter. And they tended to be as thick as thieves. Loki tensed at the thought. Lorelei was a silly little thing, more eager to exploit her bewitching beauty than her brains. She could hardly be considered a threat. Amora always had more ambition, more conviction and more cunning. That was why the Enchantress had easily surpassed her younger sibling.

That was why the Enchantress could not be trusted.

Loki ran his hand through his thick raven hair. It was almost too bad. Amora was a radiant young woman of impeccable breeding, lofty and luscious with inviting angles. He sank his sharp teeth into his lower lip. Too bad she was so devious.

The trickster finished his meticulous scan of the hall. He was satisfied that there was no trace of the Enchantress, as odd as this was, he pressed forwards.

Exposing her swan like neck, Lorelei let an airy laugh escape her lips. In the same breath Balder wrenched her warm body closer and fondled her sloppily.

_Alas my dear Lorelei, your pitiful attempt to seduce Balder only serves to establish your desperation! Is this really how you prize yourself? A meagre fancy, a strumpet, ah you poor thing! Is this why Amora chose not to accompany you? Did she mock you from embarrassment or for your lack of aspiration? _Loki chuckled humourlessly. _Marriage into nobility and you don't even aim for royalty! _He pictured the Enchantresses cruel sneer.

_How captivating._

At that precise moment, Thor belched loutishly. A chorus of approval cascaded around the hall. Loki soured his mouth. _Clearly I misjudged the girl. _

_It's just too bad Balder and Thor only have eyes for one Goddess. _

_The same Goddess to be exact. _

Sif clapped her hands and proposed a toast. She swung her bronze goblet high about her head, sweet mead droplets shimmered in her dark coarse locks. The dining hall immediately broke into hysteria. Tankards smashed and drinks were sloshed, fists pounded on tables and benches while throats were raised and roared vigorously. Loki looked directly at his brother, his large face, red and glowing was over brimming with pride. The thunderer stood and slammed his wide palm on the table. Thor then gabbled some inane gibberish about the need for more mead. Followed by more rampaging.

Loki had seen quite enough.

His mind snapped back into his body instantaneously.

With a start Loki shot upright.

Golden light discharged across the panel white floor. Too rich to be morning, the trickster blinked, slightly dazed. A heart-shaped face peered back at him with a muffled look of guilt and embarrassment. Childishly she nipped at her pale pink lips. Then Loki realised he was soaked. And his unsought guest clutched a vase.

"Highness, I'm so sorry-" Lady Sigyn trembled.

Shivering, Loki lowered his voice. "Why am I wet?"

Sigyn seemed to sink. "You were so cold, my Lord! I… I thought you were dead… So I…" She gestured at the vase.

"You thought I was dead? And your natural response was to throw freezing water over me?" Loki could barely contain his annoyance behind his teeth. "And has that ever been an effective method of raising the dead?" He cocked his head to the left.

Sigyn shuffled her feet and mumbled incoherently. Pearls welled in her eyes. Loki sighed. He had forgotten how sensitive the Lady Sigyn was. How fragile she could be. How feminine.

_How pathetic._

Dropping his gaze, Loki flung the covers back and slid agilely from the bed. He stood and stretched. His arms still above his head, an impromptu crash caused Loki to whirl round.

"Your Highness…" Sigyn gasped as her dainty fingers fumbled with the air. Her pale cheeks flushed rose. Loki noted her wide-eyed and innocent expression as she attempted to avert her gape. Loki sighed deeply once more.

"Sigyn, kindly wait outside while I dress myself,"

"Uhuh," The young maiden murmured as she hopped quickly from sight. Loki watched her flee with a slightly bemused smirk. Seems there was still one virgin in Asgard.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Warm water ran readily from the porcelain tap and saturated the elongated bathtub. The trickster fiddled indolently with the temperature before he leant back onto the sideboard pensively. The evening chill pricked at his naked flesh as dusk bathed the small compartment in a remote glow. It had gone five before he was abruptly awoken. Having underestimated his need for rest, Loki was surprised to discover how detached he was from his own body. It barely recognised him anymore and he it. Although his strength seemed to have improved, little else had. Loki still felt the stain of his emotional fragility. Gingerly he rubbed his temples, silently praying that it would end, while not fully comprehending what it was.

_I want to return to my old ways and I want to change beyond recognition. I want to be the favourite son of Asgard and her worse enemy. I want to be embraced by Thor as his ally and dispensed as his adversary. I want everything and nothing at the same time. I want to be loved and hated and I want to be accepted and feared. All I want is to be Loki. _

_If I only knew who Loki was. _

Meanwhile Sigyn padded around the living suite nervously, gnawing on her pump lower lip. She remained sultry with embarrassment from earlier, cursing her foolishness. Loki heard every delicate movement, every soft little curse. A banal expression wove itself into his sharp features at the thought of making small talk with that tedious little shrew. The trickster slowly uncrossed his legs, fully prepared to take his time. He lightened as he sank into the bath and tried to relax.

Lady Sigyn was but a wisp of girl, petite with a slender waist and rather small breasts. Her boyish frame was one that needed to be grown into yet one that wouldn't be. With reserved fashion tastes, Sigyn tended to opt for neutral, non-threatening tones, cream, beige and light browns in long and simple gowns that cupped her chest then fell flat against her figureless shape. Around her small head she adorned a single golden band, the only piece of jewellery Sigyn ever wore, a simple indication of her nobility. Her tawny blonde curls were often loose and trailed slovenly down her back, perhaps the only aspect of Sigyn that was truly free spirited. Attempts by the most prim and proper governesses had had limited success in coaxing Sigyn to try out the latest braiding styles.

Howbeit Lady Sigyn was not a beautiful woman, not by a long shot. She was neither as sensuous as the Lady Sif, nor as alluring as Amora the Enchantress or even as bountiful as the much younger Lorelei, nevertheless there was something, a quaint charm that prevented her appearance from being considered ugly. Plain was a more appropriate term, the trickster mused. Plain and dull.

And yet Loki was not without some sympathy for the dear girl. As his freedom had been stolen from him, as his life has been constructed as a political pawn for the pleasure of Asgard, so had Sigyn endured the same. From a tender age she had been removed from her parents and brought to the citadel far from home to receive her formal education. Strict discipline had crafted a mild mannered young lady, a fair creature who would accept her docile roles of wife and mother without objection. Bred to be obedient and loyal, to dote on her husband's every whim, to turn blindly to his promiscuity, violence and brutish nature. Sigyn was the ideal wife for royalty, fit for a prince yet oddly enough not a king. It had always bothered Loki that such preparations had been taken to assure him a companion rather than Odin's clear heir. Yet with Sigyn's affection towards Loki well known, the entire court had presumed their betrothal for a long as he could remember.

Perhaps Odin feared all along that Loki would turn on him and so desired him to wed an Asgardian bride as soon as possible, so he would forever be tied to Asgard. Perhaps he simply desired his son to have a loving partner, believing all suitable women would galvanise Thor's attention alone. Or perhaps the All-Father intended to soften the blow when he inevitably announced Thor as his successor. The reason seemed irrelevant to the Loki, it was just another aspect of his life that his Father had meant to control. Another freedom he had been denied.

On this ground, Loki pitied Sigyn. To be used in such a frivolous ploy as an arranged marriage, anger stirred within him. It was unlikely that Odin had considered her future had Loki unexpectedly perished or required banishment akin to Thor. The trickster gritted his teeth. _The manipulating old bastard, he cared not the fate bestowed Sigyn had I not returned! _On the other hand, his blissfully ignorant elder brother found Loki's unrequited romance adorable and took great lengths to goad the two together.

"Brother!" Thor roared with excitement as Loki tethered on the edge of the feasting hall. "Come sit and drink this excellent mead with me!" The hall turned on him. Large, crude hands propelled the trickster forward to their young lord and master's table, slapping him on the back several times for good measure.

While Loki nursed his first silver cup, Thor roared about some tiresome hunt he and the Warriors Three had undergone earlier that afternoon and how Loki's presence had been sorely missed. One indiscreet sniff from the Lady Sif informed him that only Thor felt that way. Their spoils roasted on the open fire, filling the room with a sweet, sweaty scent. Loki sighed, wishing he'd never ventured from his quarters. He rarely attended public meals save for ceremonious occasions, or at the immediate request of his Mother. This was the latter. Frigga had beseeched her youngest, growing ever concerned with his seclusion. At the outset Loki had intended to sneak into the hall for about an hour or so, that was until he was set upon by bloated brother, reeking of alcohol and mirth.

"Brother, does the Lady Sigyn not look lovely their evening?"

Interrupting his thoughts, Loki set his tempered gazed upon Sigyn, chatting merrily a few tables from them. His emerald eyes perked at her uncanny olive gown. Green was _his_ colour. According to Asgardian customs this was symbolic of their union. _What a coincidence, brother… _A sneer curled his mouth and the trickster deliberated what prank he would pull in retaliation. _And Mother, I expected more from you! _Loki fixed his furious glare on the wooden bench. Thor was too busy chuckling into his cup to take notice.

At length the thunderer continued. "Have you given any thought to who will accompany you to my coronation?"

The word made him silently writhe. It was sheer inconceivable that Thor should become King of Asgard in less than a month. Loki already knew he had his work cut out for him, for the sake of the realm his ill-equipped brother could not become its sole ruler. Loki secretly hoped that his Father would conveniently fall into the Odinsleep on the morning of the ceremony. Outwardly the trickster gave a sharp shrug and looked disinterested. "I really haven't given it much thought, Thor."

Fandral, who had positioned himself next to the younger prince, turned suddenly and rocked Loki's shoulders playfully. "Spoken like a true novice, my friend. But I say, isn't it time you buried your head elsewhere than those dusty books? And might I suggest the fairer sex?" He gave a sly wink to the passing serving wretch. "Asgard is a garden fully of lovely flowers after all!"

"And are there any flowers Fandral the Dashing has not picked?" Loki cocked his head coolly. Thor snored out mead. Fandral seemed to feel complimented and grinned magnificently. Loki let his head drop into his hands. "I think I would prefer to go by myself."

Fandral banged on the table with his fist. "Dear Thor, your little brother has an answer for everything. What a hoot!"

In turn the blonde God wiped gentle tears of joy from his inebriated eyes and affirmed with Fandral. Malice rippled across the trickster pointy face, completely unnoticed. Precipitously Thor lowered his cup and grew very solemn. "I daresay the Lady Sigyn keeps her gape upon us. It would seem she is surprised, as is the rest of the court, to see the presence of Prince Loki grace our golden halls!"

Fandral shook his head with frank disagreement. "I know women, Thor. That is the look of a woman who yearns to dance. I would ask for her hand but I could not show any one lady such attention."

"Ah, I see." Thor was grinning goofily. "And I am so full of mead; I would only fall over my feet!"

_What a terrible shame. _Loki spat.

Loki painfully rolled his eyes at their pathetic waffling. His nimble fingers trickled over the edge of his goblet. "Are you seriously trying to manipulate _me_? And with such a feeble attempt, kindly don't insult my intelligence." His dark eyebrows arched. _I'm surrounded by buffoons. _

"Oh, we were just having a bit of fun!" Fandral chided lightly.

"Don't be such a misery, brother. Just ask Sigyn to dance." Thor flared. His patience had worn thin. "If she was my fiancée I would never treat her so appalling!"

_Take her by all means. _

Loki drained his goblet calmly. "I think I shall do as you suggest, but only since her company would be more tolerable then yours." He watched Thor's mouth form a large, uncouth O.

Deep down inside, Loki knew his brother meant well. Like their Father and Mother, he just wanted what was best for him. And like their Father and Mother, Thor was unable to accept his quieter, more refined nature. They would have preferred him brutish, turbulent and conceited. Like Thor. Like Odin. Like the rest of Asgard. But Loki was different, he didn't know why, he just was. And his family did not understand him. It was their smothering control that drove Loki to seek solitude. Unintentionally they were drowning him and wouldn't even realise before it was too late.

As he approached the Lady Sigyn, Loki inhaled deeply and gave a mentally rehearsed request. Her entourage of several handmaids tipped their heads and gossiped softly. Sigyn smiled graciously and placed her tiny hand in his without a second thought. _Just another pawn and she doesn't even realise. _Loki let his hand descend her curves and forced a civil expression.

For all her accustomed clumsiness and awkwardness, Sigyn was remarkably light on her feet. She radiated with every slight step, while blushing constantly under his cold touch, but said nothing, merely dropping her head and rested it against his shoulder. Loki leaned his chin upon her soft hair, savouring her fruit scented perfume. One dance lasted long into the evening and as the hall began to empty, no words had passed between them.

Loki felt it strange to reminisce about that night so fondly. She had been pleasant company enough and the trickster found he harboured no ill will towards the girl. It was his yearning for freedom, for responsibly and resentment of his much favoured brother that had spawned his condescension. The girl had had no hand in that. For the first time Loki wondered if he had been right to act so impassively. He marvelled whether he would have taken Sigyn as his bride had he been free to choose. Albeit naïve, Sigyn seemed devoted and loyal to him, despite his prior disinterest and Loki was smart enough to recognise the danger of an overly ambitious wife. In hindsight women like Sif, Amora and Lorelei would have made poor choices.

_But that wouldn't be half as fun, would it? _

Lady Sigyn rose promptly when Loki entered the drawing suite and beamed. His informal clothing hung loose and airy, his dark black hair was wet and stuck to his pallid skin. He motioned for her to sit while he hung back, keeping his distance. Unwittingly a smile had also crossed his face. Visibly delighted Sigyn seated herself obediently.

"Are you hungry, my lord? Shall I have the kitchen prepare a meal for you?" She chirped brightly.

Loki folded his arms and titled his head back against the wall. "No. I'm not hungry. I'm sorry I'm not in the mood for company either." It was not uncommon for his cool demeanour to be interpreted as rude, enough to scare others away. Loki half hoped Sigyn would take the hint. Somehow he wasn't disappointed when she chose to stay.

"My lord, I cannot in good conscience let you waste away," She lifted her head courteously. "Besides it is my duty to care for you, whether you appreciate it or not." Her mouth almost reached a smirk then quickly dispersed. The remark caught him off guard. Briefly he was lost for words, with nothing more then a sully scowl. Sigyn clasped her hands over her mouth. "I did not mean offence, my lord," Her voice began shrill and bottom lip trembled.

"Stop. Just stop!" He groaned. "Come here, Sigyn."

Sigyn threw him a cautious glance and pouted, but approached all the same. As she did so, Loki unexpectedly darted forth, grabbing at the startled girl with such force that threatened to topple them both. Squeezing her upper arms tightly, nails sharps as talons dug into her skin. Youthfulness pierced her large grey eyes and winding white figure trembled with inexperience, still Sigyn pressed her body up and planted her pink lips upon his, pressing delicately. Loki allowed himself to be kissed. When she started to withdraw, he ferociously seized her mouth in one motion. Jubilant that her appetite was almost as raw as his own, Loki drove his serpent tongue deeper. Sigyn respond with lightening force, her elegant hands slipped free and she immersed her fingers into his hair and across his lithe face.

"I'm no lord," Loki breathed into her ear as they parted. "I don't deserve that title. I don't deserve your respect," Before Sigyn could protest, Loki hushed her. "You don't know what I've done, what I'm capable of. For my crimes I should have been cast out from Asgard… or worse." Of course either of those possibilities could still come true, he thought numbly. The All-Father could do with him as he pleased.

"I don't believe that, if I did I wouldn't be here," Sigyn assured him. She then sighed and turned her gaze. "There is something that I swore never to tell you, but I don't want there to be secrets between us, so I will break the oath I made to the All-Father. I was not brought to Asgard as your intended bride. I came as your brothers. The All-Father had hoped that a meek consort would counterbalance Thor's insatiable lust for battle as his Lady Frigga was able to balance his own. Yet it was not to be. After our first meeting it was clear that it would take more than a gentle partner to domesticate Thor. And by that time I had already taken an interest in you."

Sigyn blushed profoundly. "Do you recall Thor's fourteenth birthday celebration? You were in such a bad mood that evening, you probably never noticed that I hovered in your shadow, hanging off your every word but Lady Frigga certainly did. The very next day your Mother proposed to the All-Father that you and I be betrothed instead."

_Sigyn was not mine? She was never intended to be mine? _Rather then lifted, the weight within Loki plummeted. _Like all things, she belonged to him first, just another one of his many hand-me-downs. _

"I chose you!" Sigyn seemed capable of reading his mind.

Riotously Loki spun around and struck the wall causing Lady Sigyn to jump. "Why? What possible reason could there be for choosing me over _him_? Other then rejection! So my oafish, halfwit of a brother doesn't immediately leap into your arms and you turn your infatuation to the royal spare!"

Sigyn held her head high as if she was prepared for a sudden tantrum. Her soft expression mingled sorrow and profound confusion, yet she refused to indulge him. "How can you think so little of yourself? Is it so implausible that anyone could look passed Thor and see you? Or have you already resigned yourself to his shadow? I figured you for many things Loki Odinson, low self-esteem was not one of them!"

With a depraved glint in his eyes, the trickster loosened his jaw and laughed coldly. "And you would want to be at my side regardless of how low I sank? How monstrous I might become? You think you can scold me into submission, woman?" An ominous shade loomed over his face and he began to hiss. "If only you knew my true nature, my true face, you might find _low self-esteem _to be the least of your concerns!"

Her reaction was unforeseen. The timid Sigyn sprang forwards and locked her thin arms around his chest. Fluttering tears from her lashes, she struggled to remain resolute. "I'm not in love with the _idea_ of you, I see more than the mischief-maker, more than the liesmith, more than Thor's little brother. I see you! Exactly as you are and I love every inch of you, even at your most wicked…" She choked back a small cry. "I cared for you so much, it mattered not that you never once returned my affection. I just wanted to be bound to you and only you." Sigyn buried her face within his clothing and sobbed mercilessly. "Please believe me!"

For the second time that day, Loki noted that his body acted without mental approval. His slender fingers stoked Sigyn's elegant chin, tilting it upwards before taking her with his mouth in a brief but more meaningful occurrence. When they finished, his arms held her tight while his bony chin nestled her wispy curls, letting milky white tears stain his garments.

"Don't cry," his voice purred gently. "There's no more need for tears." He kissed her forehead lightly.

After all, the trickster remained himself. He did pity Sigyn and she seemed dedicated to him. She could come in useful. He would need allies in the long run.

Odin was and should be the sole focus of his accumulated rage. Loki now knew how the All-Father had painstakingly prepared for Thor as the future King. Relentlessly trying to smooth over the undeserving simpleton's many faults, supplying him with vast magical weapons and the ideal meek wife, all to no prevail and still the All-Father had never considered his other son waiting in the wings. Because he had never intended for Loki to ascend the throne, he saw no reason to prepare for Loki's future. _Odin never saw fit to grant me anything other then Thor's cast-offs, there was never a moment in my life when I was not deceived! _

The trickster cracked a cold smirk. There were so many Asgardians that professed to love him. But Asgard was nothing but full of liars.

He watched the skies darkened. Odin and Thor must be brawling. Loki hoped it was about him.

000

The private audience chamber rumbled for the best part of an hour before the Lady Frigga was sort after. As the two Gods of Asgard roared, so did the black skies roll and surge with equal ferocity. The pounding tempest broke as the Queen entered with poise, drawing the room into a heavy silence. Thor greeted his mother was a formal embrace while Odin remained seated. The All-Father had half a mind to demand his wife leave them and the other half to banish his unruly son to Midgard once more. Although to loose either of his most trusted allies now would not benefit the All-Father. Not when his relationship with Loki was in need of such great repair. He recalled the hollow look his son had bore him, hungry for punishment, for justification. Loki wanted his hatred to feel warranted, that was the reason he had returned. The All-Father was consumed by weariness, only dimly noticing his elder son's rampage.

"He could have me the truth! You could have told me mother!" Thor bellowed with his entire muster. A white thunderbolt split the skies. "I could have protected him! I could have prevented all of this from happening!"

Frigga eyed her son for a moment before shaking her head in dismay. "No Thor, there was nothing any of us could have done to prevent this day from dawning. It was inevitable. Darling, Loki has always been envious of you. This stoked the flames of bitterness and resentment and thus created a deeply unsettled and emotionally unstable young man. I confess I saw this coming but I never supposed how far he would go. Thor, you mustn't blame yourself, if there is fault then it is mine. I should have intervened sooner." The Queen welted back silver tears. Thor moved to embrace his mother more tenderly.

"Don't say such things Mother, you bare no blame. It is Father who-"

Odin immediately cut him off. "You impudent little fool! Has it not even occurred to you when and where the truth was first discovered? During your forbidden expedition to Joturhiem, while you and your foolhardy cohorts were gallivanting in battle, your brother was exposed to the touch of a Frost Giant. When it had no effect, Loki naturally deduced the reality of his birth. All this talk of protection and yet when the time called for it, you were too busy settling your own selfish desires! Under your very watch and still you did not notice!" He was on his feet, bright with anger.

The thunderer gasped in sheer disbelief. Flabbergasted his mouth hung open. Since he and Loki had fought, since Loki had sent the Destroyer to Midgard, Thor had suffered an outlandish anxiety that he was somehow at fault for his brothers' madness and now with confirmation that he had been right all along, the burly man sank to his knees.

"Enough!" Frigga glared at Odin. "We cannot blame our son, for our own shortcomings. More then anything I regret the manner in which Loki learnt the truth, I wish it had been under different circumstances, preferably our own mouths as I wanted for so long. As I recalled you talked me out of it every time but perhaps had you heeded me, this situation could have been avoided. Loki should have known the truth long before this. Still," She reached out and held her son. "I do not regret that the truth has now been revealed. I do not regret that he is no longer in the dark."

Thor caressed his mothers hand lightly. How the Queen had a powerful way of soothing his ails.

"Have you spoken with Loki yet?" Odin inquired.

Frigga indicated that she hadn't but would soon. "I have always had a special connection with him, I'm sure he will be more receptive to his mother."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Flickers of white light flashed in the foreground. Thor opened and closed his eyes, he squinted, his sight dulled under the brilliant gleaming. A shadow crossed the brightness and towered above him, seemingly familiar. The thunderer could not place his thoughts. His senses strained as he peered blankly upwards. A heavy crack of electricity lit the tatter scope and Thor witnessed the unmistakable grimace of his younger brother transformed into a venomous snarl.

All Thor could manage was a winded croak. The trickster remained immobile. Sullen eyes deadlocked upon his feeble-sounding brother. Dropping his guard, Thor pushed his heavy-laden body upwards but pain immediately splintered from his right shoulder and down his arm. It was broken. His mind was hazy as to how that had happened. An earth-coloured boot abruptly slammed down on him and Thor roared inhumanly.

Loki spoke quietly and without emotion. "You've ruined everything again. I should have known. You have always ruined everything. Everything that was mine," Despite their locked gaze, Loki appeared to be talking to himself. Green eyes dilated, awash with emptiness as he continued to stare down at his elder brother, seemingly unaware that their surroundings were breaking around them. Attentively Thor searched for the handle of his hammer with his fingertips whilst maintaining eye contact.

"You take everything away from me. Always have, always will," Loki inhaled darkly and broke his stare. "I could have succeeded as well. I could have!"

"Brother you tried to rule Midgard. I was given no choice but to stop you!" His friends, the Avengers crept into his mind and his heart jerked. _Tony, Capt, Tasha, Dr. Banner, Son of Coul… What had become of them? Were they unharmed?_ "We had to stop you," Thor protested. "I don't wish to be at odds with you anymore Loki, let us end our feud. Help me up." He raised his good arm hopefully.

Loki ignored his words and his actions. "I would have ended all wars, brought permanent peace and prosperity to all the mortals…" _I would have had respect! I would have been loved!_

"No, Loki…"

The damage was instantaneous. Thor blinked back his confusion, unable to comprehend why his younger brother began to contort monstrously. Rays of deep emerald malice bore into the thunderer. "I would have had it all, if not for _you_, always for _you_. And do you even care? Do you?" Loki spat, becoming shrill and shaking uncontrollably. "Do you?"

"Brother please, I'm hurt," Thor winced and licked his dry lips. It was odd that admitting injury afforded him no shame, his attention fixated solely on something more important. "Let me up, Loki. Let me help you,"

"No. No of course not. I'm such a fool," Drained of colour, his speech became deadpanned. "Such a fool," The golden staff swung into the palms of his hands, the incandescent blue ball, glowing with stolen power, pointed down at Thor. "Goodbye brother…"

000

The morning drew stately, small clouds along a gentle grey wave, tightly suppressing. With the sun obstructed, it was cold, yet the trickster had insisted the windows be kept open and the curtains stood agape. Loki was well known for having a cruel sense of humour, the attending servants thought little of it. The Prince did not acknowledge any of them and so they remained as discrete as possible and as brief, in order to escape the chill, unaware that only Loki was not shivering. The Queen advanced her chin with a disapproving look but said nothing. Even the frost of Joturhiem had not revealed Loki's true form; an early autumn morning certainly posed no threat. Frigga noted the relaxed corners of his expressionless mouth and smiled coyly to herself. Something about the weather had him at ease. She politely waited for the physician to conclude his examination.

Propped upright in bed against a sprawl of silk pillows, his emaciated body drooped back, with his arms neatly folded in his open lap. Bright green eyes darted back and forth over the room inquisitively, only to be settled when they met with his mothers calming blue. Frigga found herself admiring his cordial demeanour even after having been sufficiently poked and prodded. Of her two sons, Loki had always been the more dignified. The one who could remember his manners, withhold his temper, be witty, charming and engaging on cue, never above nor below his rank. Always just so. A sour lump caught the back of throat. Had it all been an act?

_No_. That kind of thinking didn't belong here, Frigga swiftly banished the thought in time to catch the physician give his verdict.

"Exhaustion," He pronounced, tinkling with the thick rimes of his glasses. "Can't say I'm surprised, the boy's hardly been eatin' that's for sure!" He clucked, then directed his glasses at the bedridden trickster and waggled them. "Get some more meat on yer bones and yer'll be fine, no more of this fainting malarkey," The scolding only seemed to amuse Loki as he mouthed the word 'boy' at his mother once the physician had his back turned. Frigga felt her eyes roll involuntarily.

The small physician continued to rant as he hobbled from the bedchamber, shadowed by his glad attendants. "Silly boy needs to sleep more as well. I shall prepare a potion for that. Looks awful but sleep will fix that. But food is the best medicine; feed him meat, three times as much. Good for the soul…" Frigga nodded affectionately and agreed graciously. The physician made a formal bow and proceeded out into the hallway with his tiny procession. The guards stationed outside Loki's apartments snapped the doors shut. Frigga let her arm rest on her waist for a moment before whirling round and immediately spotting Loki on his feet, half-dressed and stretching.

"Back into bed this instance young man!" She chided motherly. Hands fell into tight balls balancing off her hips.

Loki grinned lopsidedly and continued buttoning his shirt. "What does that old fool really know? He believes I am still a child, did you hear him call be a boy? A boy indeed!" He sucked on his bottom lip. "Imbecile,"

"I still think of you as a child, does that also make me an imbecile?" Frigga inquired sweetly.

"Don't be absurd, you're my mother!" He paused and then smiled gently at her. "It's to be expected."

_Is everything always a calculation, Loki?_ Frigga glided across the bedchamber and half-hearted picked at the slovenly cast blankets. "If you still accept me as your mother, then you should accommodate me,"

"And if I should die of boredom in the process?" Loki pouted severely.

Frigga paid him no heed. "Now you're just being melodramatic,"

"I am not going to stay in bed all day! It was just a mild fainting spell, nothing serious. I have things to do!" He declared haughtily and slumped down. Arms and legs folded impatiently. "I don't need you mothering me either. Why are you making my bed? Just leave won't you!"

"And what might these _things_ be, dear?" Frigga purposefully ignored his negative attitude. As his mother and the mother of Thor, Frigga was well accustomed to childish outbursts and sudden temper tantrums. Whereas Thor would use his fists to smash whatever crossed his path, Loki used words like daggers. Frigga was more than able to control the situation. "Considering that you have been placed in confinement on the express wishes of the All-Father,"

Loki swiftly changed his mood. His shoulders wilting and his head leant into her waist. "What will Father do to me?" Almost a whimper.

The Queen felt her stiff chest ache. "I don't know, dearest. But you must have faith in the All-Father, in whatever he decides," She kissed the top of his head lightly and felt him tremble at her touch. "Oh my little one, your father loves you. He would never intentionally hurt you. I wouldn't let him." Frigga ruffled his black curls, aware that her son was sobbing against her. Exhaustion, she realised there was more truth in the diagnosis. Her son was exhausted, physically and mentally. The cracks were being to show and Loki was starting to break down. Frigga held him tighter and his cries became heavier.

Eventually Loki broke away and in a small voice confessed his tiredness. Frigga nodded and rose. "Dine with me this evening, like old times. We have much to discuss," Loki gave what sounded like a murmur of agreement as his mother pulled back the blankets and helped him into bed. Silver streams still running down his pale face.

000

Never one to say a bad word aloud, Sigyn was partial to the occasional bad thought. As the boisterous Sif bounded towards her across the crowded courtyard, Sigyn felt her petite pink nose wrinkle as she considered how greatly unattractive mud and boar blood was. _Now, now the Lady Sif is a much favoured member of the court. _Sigyn stiffened and elongated her neck. _The future bride of Thor and therefore future Queen of Asgard, I must be courteous. One day we shall be sisters-in-law, we shall be as close as Thor and Loki are. _The thought brought a peaceful smile to Sigyn, who had always wanted a relationship akin to the brothers. As Sif approached, Sigyn step forth, her bare arms extended in greeting a familiar. When the Aesir remembered stoic and Sigyn awkwardly let her limps drop to her sides.

"This is not a social call, Sigyn," Sif flicked her dark head back and folded her arms across her chest. Sigyn's fingertips tugged the slips of her silk skirts as Sif continued. "I shall make myself plain, I've come for information. You visited with the trickster last evening and remained there till the morning," Dark eyes narrowed into piercing slits. "I want you to tell me what was spoken."

Taken aback, the other, more timid creature flushed and glazed down at the floor. "I'm n-n-not sure what you mean Lady Sif. I'm sorry, I can't h-h-help you," _Oh please leave me be._ Sigyn felt the all too familiar sting of tears and wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. But Sif merely leant in closer and whispered harshly.

"You know exactly what I mean Sigyn. Tell me of your _pillow _talk,"

Struggling to hold back her tears, Sigyn felt as if she was choking. It was truly horrendous. The entire court was aware that she had stayed the night in Loki's apartments and had surmised their own conclusions! Sigyn was burning white; she gritted her teeth and stilled her voice. "I'm not sure what you are alluding to Lady Sif, nevertheless whatever was spoken between Prince Loki and I is a personal matter. We are after all betrothed and I would never betray his confidence. And whatever gossip you have heard, Prince Loki is a perfect gentleman and would never do anything untoward." Sharpness ended her speech.

Sif gave a masculine grunt and hissed low. "Listen here you silly little strumpet, if you know what's good for you, you'll tell me every seedy detail!"

"Well if you are so desperate to know, might I suggest conversing with Heimdall?" As Sif dropped her jaw spectacularly, Sigyn ignited with a warm self-assurance. "And if you know what's good for you, Lady Sif, you'll reframe from insulting your future Princess,"

It was Sif's turn to redden but unlike Sigyn the warrior-maiden did not internalize nor conceal her rage. "I wouldn't get ahead of yourself Sigyn; you're not our Princess yet. And even then I wouldn't brag about marriage to a snake!"

"Oh dear Sif, it must be frustrating to follow Thor around for years like some lost puppy and for him to have not yet realized that you are female. Perhaps it is because you are so… manly," Sigyn's air of mockery was absolute. She gestured directly to the thick red blotches covering Sif's armour. "Perhaps you should invest in perfume rather than pig's blood."

Sif was glaring hard; her left hand teethed over the tip of her blade handle. Sigyn noticed and gave a causal nod of her head. "Is it really your intention to run me though? Are you some sort of degenerate, Lady Sif?"

Reluctantly Sif lowered her hand and her milk white face seemed to calm. "Sigyn please, I beseech you. I'm not speaking to you out of malice. I can't explain it but I am trying to help you. You should distance yourself from Loki, you don't know…" Sif let her voice drop, almost inaudible. "…what he is…"

Sigyn frowned. "What he is? What nonsense is this?"

In anguish Sif took a step back and shook her head feverishly. "Oh I can't, I can't. I'm forbidden to speak of it. But you should know. You _must_ know! On my life Sigyn, Loki is no friend of Asgard!"

Sigyn eyed the other maiden with a cold gaze before she decided Sif could not be trusted. _She never cared for me, never showed me kindness, never acknowledged me before this day and now Sif comes to me with crude demands and wild accusations all the while treating me as her inferior. To think that I considered we might be sisters, that we might be friends! _Sigyn nipped her pale lips and felt her mannerisms becoming huffy and unladylike. "If you will excuse me Lady Sif, I still have to attend to my betrothed," She turned to leave, then paused and glanced back. "Don't let me catch you referring to your Prince as a snake again. If you do I shall complain directly to the All-Father, I'm sure he would be concerned to know his beloved son treated so discourteously by a commoner!" With that Sigyn disappeared down the corridor, leaving a thoroughly bewildered Sif.

_I don't care if Thor does marry her. I don't care if she becomes Queen and I am forced to knee before her. I shall always stand at Loki's side. I shall always defend his honour. I shall never ever forgive Sif for this!_

To the gentle-natured Sigyn, the threat was very sincere and very great. She pursed her lips and continued her stride.

000

It was early in the evening when Loki was awoken by a beaming Sigyn, her soft hand rested delicately on his shoulder. "My love," Her breath was deep and vibrant. "You have dinner with the Queen to prepare for," With her caring assistance, Loki silently complied in dressing in his finest green robes. As her tender touch smoothed across his heavy tunic, Loki abruptly clasped her hand and caressed it firmly.

"Sigyn, I want you to know, I intent to confer our marriage with my Mother. It's my will that we wed as soon as possible," He dropped his features to inspect Sigyn's reaction. Her tiny mouth resembled a small, perfect hollow. She gave no verbal response; the trickster felt an unbearable weight. "This is not to your liking? Would you prefer a long engagement?"

"No!" She spluttered, unable to stop herself. "No, what I mean is, of course I would prefer the sooner, the better! Oh Loki this is just so sudden, but I am so delighted!" Her encounter with Sif flared in her mind, Sigyn felt strangely uncomfortable as if the other Aesir were in the room with them. She nipped her lower lip.

"Something troubles you? Tell me darling, remember there are no secrets between us," Gentle strokes of her slim sides reassured Sigyn who in turn reached up to touch Loki's soft cheek.

"It's nothing really. The Lady Sif wanted to speak with me," Sigyn drew in her breath, seeming to imagine a flicker of apprehension in Loki's sharp green eyes. "I should not be bothering you with her nonsense-"

"What did she say Sigyn? What were her _exact_ words?" A misshapen snarl overtook his face. Startled Sigyn forced herself to continue.

"She s-s-said that I should distance myself from you that I didn't know _what _you were…" Sigyn shook her head furiously. "I'm not sure what she meant. I never liked her to be honest. She is a nasty person…" Sigyn mumbled then caught a glimpse of Loki grinning from ear to ear. "Does something amuse you? Sif called you a snake! Why aren't you outraged!"

"Ah forgive me, sweetheart! You should pay no heed to the Lady Sif or her despicable comments. She has never cared for me, nor hid it well," Loki furred his eyebrows. "Let me confide in you, my love. For you see Sif has always had her sights set firmly on my brother since we were children. But Thor is Thor and thus oblivious to the obvious. He has yet to replicate her feelings and now it seems he has fallen for a mortal woman," He wrapped his long arms around Sigyn's slender frame and pulled her close. "It's only natural that Sif would be frustrated. I expect she is envious of us and our love,"

Sigyn tilted her head upwards. "Yes, I imagine your right."

Loki felt himself brighten as his mouth weaved the suspicion. "She holds me responsible as well. Had I not pranked my brother during his coronation, Thor would be King by now and Sif would most likely be his Queen,"

"Let her be bitter then. It is neither your problem nor ours," Sigyn placed her lips on his soothingly. "Perhaps we should make a point of not inviting her to our wedding,"

"Sweetheart I didn't know you had it in you to be so catty!" Sigyn blushed a deeper pink.

**Notes: Damn story has a life of its own, which means there will be more chapters then originally intended. But where it will go and how far is anyone's guess**

**Comments are always appreciated **


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